Catching Butterflies

Speckled with an assortment of colors and hovering above a petite and sweet-smelling scarlet rose in the corner of a glowing and peaceful garden, the free-spirited butterfly is a sight for sore eyes. As if that wasn’t enough, like a ray of sunshine, clad in silky and flowing amethyst colored frock, a little girl trying to grab hold of the butterfly, reminds the struggle you faced in your childhood to do the same. As you contemplate, a chain of thoughts attack you. 

Did you ever try catching a butterfly? Did you grasp it? Did you try enough? In spite of the tiresome and wearisome chase why couldn’t you capture it? Were you supposed to catch it anyway?

May be and may not be. 

You follow them as they are fluttering around. Darting and diving as they land on something and as you approach them cautiously they go this way & that way and just as you think that you might have them in your grasp, they are gone. But you don't give up and you keep trying over and over again, trying to do everything you can to catch those ever elusive butterflies. Eventually, you wear out over trying to obtain something that maybe you were never supposed to have. Just is the way of trying to obtain someone’s respect, appreciation, approval, or even their love....these are the butterflies that I am speaking of! It could be from a friend, a wife, a husband, a sibling or maybe even one's parents. 

Since an early age, I have been chasing certain butterflies. No matter what I did or how many times I tried, no matter how much time and effort was invested, those butterflies always evaded me. After not just years but decades of trying to catch these butterflies, I have had to conclude and confess that I was spending years in denial. I was never supposed to have those butterflies in the first place. They were just not meant to be.

As the years have gone by, it has been like someone was using very fine stroke of unkind words, disapproval, rejection, disrespect, or even their hatred that was being rubbed down over my mind, heart and soul. Slowly but unquestionably it had been smoothing out any feelings that I had until there were none left…totally void of any emotions. I have given up on chasing those butterflies. Sometimes, life without all of those other butterflies can be a sensible and satisfactory thing, especially when you accept the fact that you tried your best, it is out of your control and reach to continue chasing them any longer.