That's The Thing About Love -

Covering my mouth with both the hands in an attempt to not let anyone hear a single sound of my grief that I cannot contain inside me no more, I sit and sway on the bathroom floor when each cell in my body wants to scream and cry. In the past few days, the bathroom floor has heard me more than you. As I enter, it just lets me be. It has helped me uncover the mask I wear every day now to not let them know that I am mourning the loss of a living being that is gone from my life but alive on my social media feed. Just as a nail is inserted in the wall deeper with each blow, your absence in my life is hitting me hard with each passing day. The pain of emptiness is getting heavier to carry around. I am as lost without you as I was in you when all I wished was to be lost with you.


Uljha uljha rehta na sunta na kuchh kehta
Sooni sooni aankhon se reh reh paani behta
Toote saare naate, hara main samjhate
Bichhde din aur sathi phir wapas nahi aate
Wapas nahi aate, wapas nahi aate.


Since the day we met, we have shared and fed each other – a tub full of our favorite popcorn, and happiness. As two individuals, we made an effort to read each other’s miniscule details that we would never speak outloud nor would we expect anyone to catch hold of it. We created that safe haven step by step, despite of the tangible and intangible obstacles, and I fell for the imperfections for those are similar to the ones I possess. I miss you hearing me talk about things that made sense and that which was fully made of nonsense. I miss your comforting words on a bad day and long hugs to calm me down! I cent percent miss it as much as I miss myself because we were there for each other as we are for ourselves – to be seen, felt, heard, loved, and cared for!


Andar tu ae baaher tu ae
Vekhan har thaan tera saaya
Main bhi tu ae teh tu bhi tu ae
Ratta farak nazar naa aaya

That’s the thing about love –

It happens without you realizing and it leaves you with many realizations.
It makes you feel worthy and leaves making you feel worthless.
It shapes you in it’s presence and it shapes you in it’s absence.